Never miss a moment of fabulous madness!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Like that old Jewel song asserts...

Good Morning Darlings,

Since I returned from Israel, I have been nothing but busy. Running from this event to this event, getting last minute work done, trying to see everyone that I know I won't see for quite some time after this move, oh and trying to get as much Bravo as possible in before I turn into a pumpkin (or Pine as the case may be) for the summer. Alas, this has meant that I have been not so great at keeping you entertained with my fabulous wit and sassiness. My apologies*. 

But today I want to talk about my hands (now do you get the title? We're going back to like Dawson's Creek soundtrack volume 2 here). Since I returned from Israel, I have been thinking a lot about what would happen if I ever had to fight in a war or on battle lines, or even just shoot a gun that is not aimed at clay pigeons (insert laugh track here: LCF holding a rifle). Would I be able to do it? Would my body shake involuntarily like it sometimes does when I get nervous? I'm pretty sure that you can't take an ativan before you go into battle. This is one of the things that I'm not sure that the current LCF could do. I don't know if my hands could hold a gun with the intention of maybe killing someone. So the point of the story is that it's lucky that I don't have to go to battle every day because it means that these fabulous hands of mine can act in a much better way
I have always had a love/ hate relationship with my hands in the very superficial aesthetic sense. My hands (like the rest of me) are a little more rotund than I would like which means that wearing dainty jewelry is out of the question. (I have a similar problem with my earlobes, which also happen to be full figured and I can never wear cute little earrings, I have to wear big ones {which of course I don't mind especially if they happen to be a very beautiful diamond or something} to make the ratio of lobe to earring more equal). That being said, I have grown into appreciating large costume jewelry with the hope that one day I can trade it in for said jewelry in non-costume format. I like to refer to the bottom side of my fingers  as my cat paws (because there is so much padding) and they really aren't good for much aside from padding a fall (but I'm not a Jellicle Cat, so I don't fall from  buildings or swagger around streetlamps much these days {If I were a Jellicle Cat, I would be Grisabella, the Glamour Cat...sans prostitution or whatever})

A Jellicle Cat (for those of you who don't know, shame on you) is the type of cat mentioned in T.S. Eliot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats," whose daytime nature is peaceful and restful, but who love the nightlife, specifically the Jellicle ball. They were made famous in Andrew Lloyd Weber's longest running broadway show Cats (featured above)!
*When I was like 8 years old, I was sick and out of school for an entire week. All I did was listen to this and Donna Summer on vinyl. Does this explain anything?

So back to my hands. I've got a left hand, I've got a right hand, and I've got ten (usually perfectly manicured) fingers. I am a lucky girl. I've got a few scars, but that brings me to my point. My hands are so able to do so many things and even though I slather them with Nivea Creme and put them in white gloves every night (except when I drink too many gimlets and forget, we can't all be completely perfect), I also work them really hard. I love my scars and my calluses. All of the scars on my hands are from cooking which is obviously something that I love to do (and don't talk about enough on here) and I am proud of them. I think of them as an LCF designed accessory that no one else has.

Left Hand
Right Hand

If you will notice, I like to decorate my hands. My jewels tend to stay the same, unless I add a wonderful cocktail ring that celebrates not only my love of large jewels, but also my last name like the one pictured below. I wear the wedding set on the left (new addition of a late 20s/early 30s, Victorian into Deco diamond, email me if you want to see it up close, it's a stunner!) and a rose gold signet ring on my pinky. My colour of choice (as you should know) is OPI Big Apple Red, but today I have changed it up a little bit adding Sally Hansen's nail decoration thingys in Cheetah print to a few fingers. Why not add a little spice? But these well maintained hands have done so much in their twenty five years that I have a hard time not giving them a little beso every morning and thanking them for everything.

A Fox? A Cocktail Ring? Best thing Ever?

I mean, come on, my hands have: written numerous papers on topics that I don't even care for, grasped airplane armrests so tightly that had they been a living thing, they wouldn't be anymore just so that I could get over the Atlantic, held my husbands hands in times of peace, joy, and sorrow, written so many letters to so many people just to say hello, created wonderful invitations for magnificent parties, cooked wonderful food for said parties, dabbled in so many creative outlets, designed and manufactured enough original pieces for two fashion shows, helped create the most aggressive mosaic ever,  touched the wailing wall, held bouquets at weddings, written down so many recipes, sketched so many landscapes, captured so many feelings on paper, scratched backs, blew kisses, waved hello and then always goodbye, applied my makeup, potions, and lotions for years, written down my number for the cute barista(o?) at Cosi (before I was married, darlings), power washed a building, held so many tears, ripped up many a B+ paper (worst grade, in my opinion), and most of all they have shown so much love to so many people through all that they do.

My favourite part of my hands is my birthmark on the right hand side of my right hand. I share this birthmark with my father's mother, my Bubby, who I miss every day. She had a birthmark in the same spot and I think on some level, this connects us in some kind of way. She was the one who taught my hands to do so many of the things that they do so well now.

And just because now I'm feeling sentimental:



*I wouldn't usually apologize for something like this, but last night at 3:41AM, I received correspondence threatening me with the removal of brunch from a friendship if I didn't update soon. This is maybe the worst thing I have ever heard (even worse than when I got a Philosophy paper back in college {in which I may or may not have compared The Niomachian Ethics to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland <what? I was sassy then too>} that had a big red "SEE ME" courtesy of my professor on the top). See:

No comments:

Post a Comment