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Sunday, May 1, 2011

Food Loves Fashion - Brooklyn Edition

Good Morning Darlings,

As some of you know, I have been in New York all weekend eagerly anticipating my flight (note the sarcasm) to Tel Aviv via Kiev this evening. Of course I am excited to go, but am not as excited for a large chunk of traveling.

Of course Jesse and I painted the town ridiculous this weekend, eating, drinking, and sleeping for long periods of time. We ate so much, they are probably going to make me pay for an additional ticket on the flight.

My fashion choices have also been questionable -- mainly because I have packed for Israel, not New York in April. I have worn the same outfit to go out two nights in a row but last night I totally BROOKLYNED it up and wore Jesse's leather jacket. I felt like I was in Welcome Back Kotter and kind of loved it. ESPECIALLY at 3am when we decided it was a good idea to go to the bar that was voted the "Best Bathrooms to have sex in," by some weirdo Brooklyn zine or something. But this place was serious and I was happy I was wearing a leather bomber because otherwise I feel like someone would have pulled a switchblade to my throat for wearing pink patent TB's in their sacred house of cheap beer and ripped tights.  There was a whole hell of a lot of drunken making out going on. Indoors and out, apparently in Brooklyn, people are super into aggressive tongue smashing at 4 o clock in the morning. I hope they like the taste of whatever cheap beer their new partner is drinking. It's not like I'm judging, but I am a little. I think it's fun to come to Brooklyn and judge the kids who are wearing glasses without lenses and cycling caps. I don't know why but since Jesse has moved here, it's become a pretty big favourite of mine. Did I mention that in the beer garden there was a taco truck? Well there is! and while it was good, the jalapeno almost burnt my tongue off. And speaking of Jalapeno, there was a girl next to us in red lipstick (swoon! if there's one thing these Brooklyn girls can do, it's pull off lipstick as such) who kept saying Jalapeno in different accents. On our way home, we stopped at a noodle shop where I almost convinced Jesse to steal the Buddha that was surrounded by Sriracha and Soy Sauces on the counter. He almost did, but then we decided that we would absolutely go to hell, and on the off chance that one or neither of us are going yet (we are) we decided to hold off. But we did sit on bar stools and wax poetic about things I neither want or need to remember.  Because we didn't think that the huge vat of noodles and pork (okay, yes, Jesse and I are going to hell) was going to be enough to satiate the hunger that occurs at 4 am after 2 bottles of red, 2 gimlets at a dive bar, and a lager, we decided to stop at the deli where we both bought coconut water (J likes Peach Mango, I prefer Pineapple...I think it's a cleaner flavour), Captain Crunch, Rice Milk (J is lactose intolerant, if you ever go see him perform, you should bring him lactaid pills instead of throwing your panties at him) and cheezits (which were such a selfish pick because I know Jesse can't have them). And then we came home, watched the royal tenenbaums in sweats and the leather jacket and went to sleep.

I will say that before the night of utter debauch occurred, J and I had a lovely day. I finally got to see Eataly, which was so amazing I couldn't handle myself. They sold all different kinds of stemware and plates with Eataly etched on them and I wish that they sold Orange Crocs with Eataly etched on them because I find them so utterly revolting that I wish I could have made fun of them. We had lunch at Balthazar, which was delicious. Steak tartare, bellinis, and oysters? Yea, sounds like my kind of lunch. And I went to see the Kandinsky exhibit at the Guggenheim, which I highly suggest!

And now, darlings, I am off to the motherland, where I can assure you that I will not be eating pork at 4 am, and although I may make a lot of great new friends on this trip, I can happily report that I am more than content with the people in my life right now, especially friends who lend me leather jackets and eat noodles with me at 4 in the morning,



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