Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Oy Vey!

Good Morning Darlings,

As I am up here in Never Never Land, I feel like I am missing out on a lot of things in the real world. So I try to make a point of it to venture on to AND daily. I mean I like to know what's going on in the real world both importantly and not so importantly. You can decide which publication I find to be most important.

So obviously I am so excited about gay marriage in New York. I mean what's not to be excited about? A step in the right direction for humanity is alright with me. I hope that every couple (gay straight, whatever) who gets married in New York sends an invitation to Fred Phelps. Because his world must be crumbling to the ground right now and he may or may not need a few hot meals for survival sake  when all of his members realize what a piece of shit he is to himself, his members, and all of humanity in this country and beyond. I can't wait for people to stop using the entirely uncivilized descriptor of "civil partner" and can just be husband and husband or wife and wife.But selfishly, I am so excited because I can't wait to see pictures of Elton and David's wedding.   I can only hope that it is going to include camels, diamonds, and Stevie Wonder.
More Specifically, I hope that Elton and David ride in on this flamboyant tropical camel....

...Have Stevie sing "I believe" for their first dance, and then invite the guests to have a sing-a-long with Stevie Wonder (!!!!!!!) to old Elton John classics. Now there's a CD I would want, Stevie does Elton: The Hits.

And of course at the end of the seven day long affair, Elton and David would give out rough diamonds and the name and number of their favourite jeweler and invite you to go design yourself a nice piece of something that you love to commemorate the time they became husbands instead of civil partners.

But there are other things going on in the news as well. I have been informed that there are a few new trends out there for resort season. Please continue reading for my take on these trends.
Listen Stella, I know that your father just had to pay a rather large divorce settlement and may not be able to give you the time you need emotionally to drive your designs, but let me tell you something. This is horrendous. I am seriously feeling two things from this outfit. Number one is that Grandma Mimi has escaped from the Assisted living facility in Boca wearing her favourite fabulous but practical two piece, but forgot her purse so traded it to some hipster for a bagel and lox and maybe a cup of borscht. When Mort, her husband finally found her, she was happy in her long underwear at the deli eating her nosh and Mort was upset that she was lost, but happy that her priorities were straight. The hipster went on to add a pair of $1200 shoes to the situation and brag to her friends at drum and bass parties about where she procured her outfit, and no it wasn't from that great little thrift shop around the corner. My second thought is that this idiotic Manhattanite in her mid twenties decided to let the runway dictate her clothing choices and spent thousands of dollars on this awful outfit instead of spending that money on a trip to an island where she could have picked up one of these numbers for about 3 dollars on the beach somewhere.

Oh really? I wasn't aware that designer tevas and wetsuits were ever considered a trend. I'm pretty sure that there is no place for this "trend" outside of the islands of Hawaii and perhaps the runway. First of all, this woman gets paid to make clothes look good and although Michael Kors calls his creation "Snorkel Jackie O." I'm pretty sure that no one can make this monstrosity look good. I have been known to take fashion risks and I love a little sass in my life, but unless you are going to make the following your theme song, I have little tolerance for people walking down the street in wetsuits and I would more than likely laugh at them.


Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my rants this morning. Sorry for the sporadic posts...I am busy tending to the needs of two hundred teenagers..


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