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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Rat Tails should be renamed RadTails.

Good Morning darlings,

Today I had a stroke of genius for which I am entirely grateful for. Rat Tails happen to be one of my most favoured fashion statements and while I understand tha that most people will disagree with me, I will stand my ground.

The rat tail is one of the time honoured American traditions. In case you have been living under a rock since the New Kids on the Block released this:

a rat tail is a "tail-like" element of hair growing from the nape of the neck down the back. Wikipedia is telling me that some people grow multiple tails, but I don't believe it. The tail is favoured by those who damn the man on a daily basis. It was hip in the 80s, and fell out of vogue in the mainstream but has garnered popularity in various fringe cultures over the years. The thing is, every time you see a rattail on someone, you get excited. It makes you smile. You kind of say to yourself, "Well, okay this guy (or girl) has balls (fallopian tubes of steel)."  So that in of itself makes it rad. My personal favourite is the braided rat tail. But rat tails come in all shapes and sizes. Here is a brief photo montage of rat tails:

He's not really into it. A ratail in it's infancy. If he decides to keep it, hopefully he will braid it or dread it. It's just boring now. 

This guy on the other hand is in it to win it. He knows that a rat tail has to be your number one priority at all times. You can't have a rat tail without it taking up at least 65% of your daily life. He might have a hard time attracting most women, but I would be attracted to his ability to commit. 

This is the elementary school rat tail. A lot of boys had them when I was in elementary school. The larger tuft of hair enables better styling value. You can add a bow or have more to pull on when you are anxious. It also offers nape protection from the harmful rays of the sun. His mom probably cut this into his hair. 
The Pageant Rat Tail. For those of you who don't know, I loathe the tendril situation.  And no, I never had an updo that involved tendrils so you can't blackmail me with that. Anyway, this combines my favourite and least favourite style. Do you think that this Beauty Queen knew about her RT? Or do you think her scorned stylist was playing a dirty joke on her? Either way, it makes me snicker. 

This is not a RT, but the tail of a headband on further inspection. Still, this makes me giggle. In fact, if you are not giggling while you are looking at this picture, you aren't human and a robot has hacked into your body. Sorry. 

DEVESTATION aka I got a job at IBM and they don't allow RTs. He wanted a job at Apple just so he could keep his rat tail.

This one. Girl-fro plus RT? Amazing. She also probably has lots of cats with rat tails. 

Baby RT: Gotta Start them young. It's like instilling a religious or spiritual  background.  These parents know where it's at. At some point, cool parents always give their baby a mohawk, mullet, or rattail just so they can laugh at the irony of it all.

I will be back in the next week with a legit update, but I hope this keeps your laughs loud and your eyesarolling for the time being.


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